


The Right Thing

by LizzyPhoenix



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Explicit Sexual Content, Healers, M/M, Rough Sex, Sexual Tension, Werewolf Mates, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-13
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2017-12-14 19:54:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/840744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizzyPhoenix/pseuds/LizzyPhoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Remus realizes that Harry is meant to be his mate he does the right thing and leaves the country. Years later Dumbledore begs him to return to resume his post as DADA teacher but when he arrives he finds an adult Harry is now running the hospital wing. Remus still doesn't think its right to ask anything of Harry but how will he survive a year at Hogwarts when Harry keeps insisting on being so friendly.  AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So This story was inspired by reading Jaded by Lilyyuri. The plot is totally different of course but that story got me thinking about Harry/Remus and this grew in my brain. I'm posting it in chapters and will be quite filthy later on. 
> 
> It's AU in that we still have Dumbledore and also Remus and Tonks never got together. Remus survived. ( I don't much care if Tonks did. I doubt she'll even get a name drop anywhere in this fic.)

Remus supposed he should be thankful it hadn’t kicked in sooner. In the grand scheme of things however the fact that a werewolf couldn’t recognize it’s mate until the mate had reached sexual maturity was of little comfort. If it had started that year he taught him at Hogwarts Remus probably would have killed himself. Not that seventeen is really much better than thirteen in the grand scheme of things. If it had happened when Harry was a baby Remus wouldn’t have needed to kill himself, no doubt Lily and James would have happily done the job for him. 

Remus tried to remind himself of his good fortune as he sat across the table from Harry at Grimmauld Place. Harry was slurping his way through a bowl of some muggle cereal called Cheerios and it was probably the most erotic thing Remus had ever seen. Cherry pink lips pursed to suck in more milk, Harry’s a bit of a messy eater which is why when a droplet of milk escapes both his spoon and his mouth Harry’s tongue flicks out to catch it. It is all Remus can do not to moan. 

Harry is basically oblivious to his presence this early in the morning. Remus knows once Harry has finished eating his cereal and his coffee those green eyes will meet his own and the boy will give him a charming smile and some sort of greeting. Remus can’t take it so instead he stands and exits the room quickly. He doesn’t see the way eyes follow him or hear the softly muttered ‘good to see you too’ that falls somewhat morosely from Harry’s mouth. 

Remus writes to Dumbledore and frantically requests a meeting. Dumbledore arrives later that afternoon and after casting about a dozen different privacy and silencing spells at the door Remus tells his mentor everything. He begs to be reassigned and thankfully Dumbledore agrees. Harry is much too young and too important to the war effort to handle something so confusing right now. Remus is sent to seek out help internationally and Harry is left at Grimmauld Place with Kingsley Shacklebolt as his guard instead. Remus is relieved because he knows the auror will protect his mate probably better than he could have.

Remus was on the other side of the ocean when the final battle happened. Apparently it all happened so fast no one even thought to send for him. As it was he received a letter from Dumbledore a few days later tell him it was over and that Harry had survived. Remus was thankful but having made friends among the American wolves and unable to face the idea of returning to a mate he couldn’t have. Remus decided not to go home. 

His American friends thought he was crazy. It was rare for a werewolf to find a true destined mate. They existed certainly but there were so many people in the world it was rare to actually encounter your mate and even rarer to find them available. Remus had tried to explain that the teenage son of his best friends could hardly be considered available but considering this particular groups leader was in his sixties and regularly took lovers in their twenties, they tended to think he was being a prude. They often joked it was because of his english blood and more than once tried to convince him to go home and claim his mate but Remus was stubborn.


	2. For The Best

FIVE YEARS AFTER THE FALL

Remus was surprised to be called into the presence of Zeke Wilder. The man was the leader of the pack Remus ran with but also his employer at the Wyoming farm that Remus and the rest of the pack worked. Remus had been expecting to spend his days tending to the animals who seemed to prefer him over the other wolves because he was calmer and let less of his inner wolf show. 

Zeke sat in his office reading a thick sheaf of parchment when Remus arrived in his office. This was the first sign to Remus that something was amiss. The American wolves were far more advanced than many of their European counterparts because not all of them were wizards. Most were muggles who had been turned. As such they tended to use regular paper for any letters they were inclined to write and more often than not they preferred email or a cell phone to writing a letter. 

Zeke didn’t look up from his parchment for several moments after Remus arrived and when he did finally look up he made a show of being surprised to see Remus. Remus didn’t know why he bothered since they both knew that a wolf’s sense of smell was keen enough to have known Remus the moment he stepped through the door. 

“Remus old friend! Don’t just stand there come and sit. Would like a beer or maybe a shot of whiskey?” Zeke offered smiling Remus shook his head. It was only about nine in the morning and while to Zeke and his pack that was plenty late enough to start drinking Remus tended to drink less and only in the evening. “Don’t mind if I do do ya?” 

Zeke asked pouring himself a shot from a bottle he’d pulled from his desk. Remus smiled and shook his head again. Zeke smiled at him and threw back the shot. 

“You’re a good man Remus. I’ve always liked you and when you decided to stay here with us after that war of yours I admit I was happy to have you.” 

“I’m happy to be here,” Remus replied garnering a smile. 

“I’m glad and how long has it been now Remus?” Zeke asked causing a stirring of concern in Remus’s gut. 

“Just over five years.” he told Zeke. Zeke nodded.

“Yes that’s what I thought. I got this letter today,” Zeke told him holding up the parchment “From your man Dumbledore, says he’s got a teachin’ position at that school back in England. He says you were the best teacher the students had ever seen and he wants to know if I can spare ya. Apparently he wrote to you but you told him you were needed here.” 

Remus tensed and inwardly he was cursing Albus Dumbledore for all he was worth but outwardly he just nodded.

“It’s true he did write to me but I’m quite happy here. There’s nothing for me back in England.” he told him.

“Except your mate.” responded Zeke pinning him with a hard look. Remus squirmed uncomfortably in his chair under Zeke’s glare. 

“I told you before Harry is much too young and I doubt he’d be interested in an old man like me.” Remus told him. Zeke nodded.

“I remember when you came here and told us you’d left because your mate was seventeen I respected that. A teenage boy has no business entering into a lifelong mateship especially with the complications of being an old family friend added into the mix. But as you said that was five years ago now and at 22 your mate is well into being a man.” 

“Twenty two is still very young-” Remus started but Zeke cut him off. 

“I’m not your Alpha Remus and I can’t force you to claim your mate but I am your friend and I can’t in good conscience watch you throw away such a chance at happiness. You’re fired from the farm and no longer welcome to run with the pack. Go home Remus and if you go to your mate and are rejected we’ll welcome you back but first you’ve got to try.” 

Remus jaw dropped.

“Please Zeke don’t do this.” Remus exclaimed horrified but his friend just gave him a sad smile. 

“It’s already done I discussed it with the pack council early this morning. We all agreed this is for the best.”


	3. Chapter 3

Remus procrastinated leaving as long as he could. Zeke let him but that also meant that instead of arriving at Hogwarts a week before term with the rest of the staff he once again found himself arriving with the students on the Hogwarts Express. He managed to get the first carriage and arrived at the school before the students. Albus was waiting for him. 

“Remus, my dear boy, so good to have you back with us at last.” He told him warmly and Remus couldn’t resist the scowl that formed on his face but he did manage not to respond with a cutting comment which he thought quite impressive considering his circumstances. “I should tell you a few things have changed since you last taught. Some of our older teachers have retired making room for the new. Neville Longbottom took over for Pomona last year with Herbology and we’ve got Lucian Bole teaching Potions and heading Slytherin House. He’s agreed to prepare your Wolfsbane just as Snape did before. Our dear Poppy has also retired but she hand chose her successor and Healer Potter has proven himself more than capable.” 

Remus head snapped around to look at Dumbledore. 

“Did you say-” Before he could finish his question Dumbledore was called away by another teacher as they entered the Great Hall. Remus didn’t need to clarify however because Harry was already there seated at the head table and having what looked like a rather spirited discussion with Neville Longbottom. 

Remus couldn’t breath. Harry’s dark hair had been grown out just long enough to go from wild to slightly curly. He’d fixed his eyes at some point so now the sparkling green was visible even at a distance. His skin was tan and even sitting down Remus could tell he’d kept his lean quidditch build. As if feeling his eyes on him Harry turned and grinned broadly when he spotted him. Jumping from his seat Harry practically ran up to him and embraced him. 

“Remus!” He exclaimed “Albus said you were coming but I honestly didn’t believe him.”

Harry pulled back and Remus realized that he must have grown since their last meeting because they were eye to eye now. Remus flushed and for a moment didn’t speak, Harry suddenly looked nervous and quickly stepped back. The uncertainty and hurt in Harry’s eyes made guilt flood through him and he spoke quickly. 

“Harry it’s good to see you. I’m sorry you quite took me by surprise. I think you’ve grown since we last met.” Remus told him with a smile and then tension in Harry’s shoulders relaxed as Harry grinned at him. 

“I probably have, I put on two inches after the final battle. Madam Pomfrey reckoned the stress of war delayed it some besides a lot changes in five years. I’m a healer now.” Harry told him taking his arm and leading him to the seat next to him at the table. 

 

<3<3<3<3<3

 

Remus didn’t know whether to be thankful or miserable that avoiding Harry turned out to be so easy. After a few rejected offers of tea from Harry, the other man seemed to take the hint and stopped asking. If sometimes at dinner Harry sent him confused hurt looks Remus pretended not to notice. Just like he pretended that just being in the same room with other man didn’t leave him hard for hours afterwards.

As the month drew to a close however Remus found himself dreading the full moon for the first time in years. The benefit of the American pack was they all changed together providing comfort and distraction. For the first time in years Remus would have to endure the change alone and he was dreading it. It was three days before the full moon when Harry sought him out. Remus had been staying in his classroom because as the moon drew nearer Remus found it even harder to resist the wolf’s need to throw Harry to the ground and take him right then and there. Harry knocked and Remus assuming it was a student called out for him to enter.

“Hey,” Harry greeted giving him a nervous smile that Remus couldn’t help but return. Harry looked nervous but determined. 

“Harry, it’s good to see you but I’m afraid I was just about to-” Whatever excuse Remus was about to make was cut off by Harry’s quick words.

“I know you’re busy professor,” and Remus winced knowing it was his own deliberate distance that had made Harry stop forcing a first name basis. “but the full moon is coming up and I wanted to talk to you about something.” 

Remus could tell by Harry’s tone that he wasn’t going to be put off about this. It was the same tone he’d used when he was thirteen and determined to learn how to fight off a dementor and wasn’t it fucked up that now instead of just being impressed Remus was painfully turned on by it. Luckily his desk shielded the no doubt prominent evidence of Harry’s effect on him so he gestured toward the chair across from him.

“Of course please sit down.” Harry smiled warmly at him as he settled into his chair. “What can I do for you? I thought all the preparations for the moon were set in place already.” 

“Oh they are,” Harry assured him before pausing as if to think of how to phrase his words. “Look you probably don’t know because you’ve been out of the country but I’m quite involved with Hermione’s group The Society for the Aid and Assistance of Magical Creatures and Oppressed Peoples.” 

“Wow that’s quite a mouthful,” Remus noted and basked in the laugh his mate gave in response. Harry looked really sexy when he laughed.  
“I know but my point is I ended up working with a lot of Werewolves. Usually the newer ones who come to us for wolfsbane during the full moon. I realize how unpleasant it was to be completely alone during the transformation and remembering what my dad and Sirius did for you. I became an Animagus.” 

“That’s wonderful Harry congratulations!” Remus told him still not sure where Harry was going with this but proud of him despite himself. “What’s your form?”

“It’s a wolf and that’s why I came normally I go over to the aid society headquarters on the full moon but if you’ll have me I’d love to keep you company instead.” Harry told him smiling charmingly. Remus mouth went dry, his inner wolf was practically keening with need at the thought of his mate there with him at the full moon. Remus knew without a doubt what would happen if Harry was there in wolf form when the turned happened. Moony would take him probably several times and there would be nothing Harry could do to stop him. Remus quickly shook his head.

“I appreciate the offer Harry, really I do but I prefer to transform alone.” It was almost painful to watch the smile slide of Harry’s face and even worse to watch Harry realize it and force one back. Harry nodded and stood to leave. 

“Sure I understand. I won’t take up anymore of your time.” and Harry left the room. 

Remus was left alone, achingly hard and swimming in regret and self loathing. Moony was practically yowling with rage but Remus consoled himself that he was doing what was best for Harry. Reminding himself that Harry had only offered because he hoped to hold the position in Remus life that his father had. If Harry had any inkling of the sort of things Remus really wanted from him he’d be repulsed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually have a good bit of this written. My goal is to update a chapter a day.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry sat in a beach chair next to the greenhouses and stared out toward the forbidden forest. Neville sat beside him watching his friend scowl as he drank Neville’s latest concoction. It was a beer made from shrivelfig juice and a dash of peppermint, he’d hoped it would end up being a less powerful version of the Elixir to Induce Euphoria but Harry seemed anything but euphoric. 

“Is it that bad?” Neville asked his friend anxiously. Harry gave him a confused look and Neville gestured to the bottle in his hand. 

“Oh no Nev, it’s great. Sweet but not too sweet and the mint really adds something I think.” Harry assured him. Nevilled quirked an eyebrow at his friend. 

“Then why do you look like you’d like to feed yourself to the giant squid?” he asked prompting a long sigh from Harry. 

“Do you blame me for what happened in Fifth year? The Department of Mysteries I mean. I know it was my fault, I just . . .” He hesitated so Neville jumped in.

“Of course not Harry, I mean we were kids. You were a kid and you were trying to do the right thing. It was tough yes but I never blamed you or was angry at you. If I’d seen what you saw I would have done the same and I know you would never hold it against me. Where is this coming from Harry? That was almost ten years ago.” Harry’s eyes wandered back to the bottle in his hand and he seemed to take a moment to study the evening twilight reflecting on the glass. 

“I think Remus blames me.” He admitted softly. Neville was surprised.

“I don’t think that’s true. Lupin’s a good bloke, I can’t see him carrying a grudge especially not against you. I mean you lost your godfather that night, even if you were in the wrong its not as though you haven’t been punished enough.” 

“I can’t think what else it could be though.” Harry replied frustration showing through. Even after all these years Harry had never got any better at hiding his emotions. 

“Tell me what’s got you thinking like this mate. I’m sure between the two of us we can figure it out.” Neville told him while summoning a bottle of mead for his friend and taking his experimental beverage back. Harry took it gratefully and took a long pull from the bottle before nodding and beginning to speak. 

“Well after Sirius died, I didn’t see Remus for a year you know because there was summer break and then school but that summer I was supposed to stay at Grimmauld and train with him yeah?” Neville nodded even though he was confused because he knew that Kingsley Shacklebolt had trained Harry. “So the very first morning I go downstairs for breakfast and I’m just sitting there eating my cheerios when all of a sudden Remus jumps up and rushes out of the room. A few hours later I haven’t seen him at all but Dumbledore shows up and they lock themselves into the study. By that night Remus is on his way to America and they all tell me he’s got to go bring over the American wolves to fight but they didn’t even call for the American’s when the battle went down.” Harry was frowning hard at his mead.

“Well it all happened so fast Harry. I’m sure they would have if they’d had more warning.”

“Maybe but then he doesn’t even come back for years and I hear nothing from him. Then he gets here and everytime I try to talk to him he blows me off. You know he chose to be alone for the moon last month rather than have me there. I mean I’ve never offered that and been turned down. I’ve been told turning alone is the worst most agonizing experience a wolf can have. That’s why they live in packs.” Neville reached out a hand and patted Harry’s shoulder kindly.

“I think you’re reading too much into it. Just because some prefer to change in packs doesn’t mean all werewolves do and he’s just getting into the swing of teaching. I’m sure he really is very busy. You’re just worrying because well. . .we both know how. . fond you’ve always been of Lupin.” As he spoke Neville’s lip twitched and Harry scowled at him. 

“Don’t you say another word.” Harry threatened dangerously and that was all it took for Neville to burst out laughing. The night Harry’s roommates had discovered how ‘fond’ Harry was of Professor Lupin had happened in fourth year. Harry had what was apparently a rather intense dream about their former professor and a rather pleasing one if the loud moaning that had pulled all the other boys from their sleep was anything to go on. 

“You are a git and a terrible friend.” Harry told him sourly. Neville gasped for air trying to reign himself in as Harry’s scowl only deepened. 

“I’m sorry Harry. I don’t mean to laugh really.” 

“I think you do mean to laugh.” Harry responded but then sighed and leaned back against his chair. “Perhaps you’re right. Maybe I was half hoping that now he’s here and I’m not his student or underage that maybe. . .but obviously that’s not going to happen. What I need is some stress relief or a really good fucking distraction.” 

“I think Fucking is the key word there Harry. Owl one of your friends and get it out of your system. I bet you’ll feel loads better and in no time at all you and Lupin will have a nice friendly colleague type of relationship.” Neville advised him and Harry nodded. 

“Yeah. . .Yeah I think I will. Thanks mate!” Harry said standing and throwing a grin in Neville’s direction before heading toward the Owlery. 

“I didn’t mean right this moment!” Neville yelled after him with a scowl before settling back into his chair and returning to his drink. 

 

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Remus found himself in the Hospital Wing a week into the Christmas break. He’d had the misfortune of intervening in an after hours duel between two sixth year girls and had caught the wrong end of a hex. It would have been easy to fix himself except the girl had miscast it so instead of simply getting a bad case of pimples he’d ended up with massive boils all over every inch of his body making it impossible to grasp his wand. 

Harry had tried all the normal counter spells before shrugging and wandering off only to return a few minutes later with a tub of ointment. At Remus insistence Harry agreed to let him apply it to all the places he could reach on his own provided he allowed Harry to take care of the hard to reach spots once he was done. Remus heard the music before Harry did a strange pounding rhythm echoing through the halls and slowly drawing closer. By the time the words started however Harry had heard it. 

“You let me violate you.  
You let me desecrate you.  
You let me penetrate you.  
You let me complicate you”

 

Remus knew the moment he did because it caused an instant reaction in his mate. A sizzling frisson of lust so pure Remus could smell it across the room. It made Remus catch his breath, he dug his fingers into fists trying to distract himself and he was glad he did because a moment later the door of the hospital wing swung open and a werewolf strolled inside. 

“(Help me),I broke apart my insides  
(Help me),I've got no soul to sell  
(Help me),  
The only thing that works for me  
Help me get away from myself,”

From Remus position behind a curtain he couldn’t actually see the other man but he could still smell him clearly. He was a young man probably about 25 and he’d been turned more than ten years ago. He was also positively humming with lust which wasn’t unusual for a wolf only three days away from the full moon. The music was back to it’s grinding beat and he heard Harry’s laughter as the next verse started. 

“I wanna fuck you like an animal  
I wanna feel you from the inside  
I wanna fuck you like an animal  
My whole existence is flawed,  
You get me closer to God”

Remus risked a look over the edge of his curtain and saw the young wolf was crowded into Harry’s space and shifting his hips and moving against him. From what Remus could see he had blue hair and a leather jacket, Remus couldn’t help it he growled and the young wolf glanced up, hearing him even though Harry hadn’t. Another set of amber eyes met his own and Remus tried to communicate without giving himself away to Harry, just who the younger man belonged too. The young wolf raised and eyebrow but before anything else could happen Harry laughed and slugged him.

“Honestly! Turn that off this is a school for Merlin’s sake what if there were students in here?” 

“Oh yeah because teenagers in a co ed boarding school never ever think about sex.” the wolf responded with a smirk. Harry laughed. 

“The older ones but the children start at eleven here Oz. They would have been scarred for life!” 

“No because I would simply obliviate them and their little minds would be pure once more.” The werewolf apparently called Oz responded with a smirk. Harry laughed again before throwing his arms around the wolf. Remus quickly turned away unable to watch any longer but also unable to leave the room without Harry’s noticing.

“What are you doing here anyway? It’s only three days until the full moon.” 

“I think you have your answer in your question.” Oz replied and Harry gave a squeak which made Remus think the wolf had probably groped him especially considering the spike of lust Harry sent of. 

“But what about. . .Jason? Shit no Jeremy? Sorry I’m a terrible friend I’ve forgotten his name but it definitely started with a J.” 

“It was Mason and we broke up a week ago.” Oz responded. 

“Oh I’m sorry.” Remus was surprised at how sincere Harry sounded and began to wonder if he’d misread the situation. 

“Don’t be, I ended it. He was a super boring shag and the closer the moon gets the more antsy I get. I didn’t understand him to be honest. He wanted all romance and flowers, I mean why date a werewolf when you’d rather be dating a girl.” Harry snorted.

“I don’t think romance and flowers are restricted to girls. I quite like flowers.” 

“Yes but you make up for it by being insanely kinky and willing to do literally anything in bed. You fucking earn your flowers.” Oz told him and Remus wanted to scream. He didn’t need to hear this, it was bad enough looking at Harry all the time and wanting him. He didn’t need to know he had actually slept with other werewolves and definitely didn’t need to know the details. As it was Remus would be surprised if he could sleep for the next week with all the fantasies those simple words had created. 

Meanwhile the sound of Harry’s laughter was echoing back toward him like a wave of delighted amusement. When he calmed he spoke again, laughter still infused in his voice. 

“I wouldn’t say Literally anything and I’m pretty sure you didn’t bring me any flowers.” 

“Name one thing you’ve refused to do when asked.” Oz responded there was a long pause while Harry seemed to think that over.

“You’re right I’ve got nothing but that doesn’t mean I never will.” 

“My point stands because I have asked you to do some pretty twisted stuff and being the werewolf groupie that you are I bet I’m not the only one.” Werewolf groupie? Remus wanted to groan or possibly just go tear the other wolf’s head from his shoulders for saying such a thing about his mate. Harry seemed pretty offended as well however. 

“I’m not a werewolf groupie!” 

“Uh huh, you keep telling yourself that but I’m not buying it. Hell you’ve got another wolf here now at this very moment.” Remus winced he was pretty sure Harry had forgotten all about him. Harry’s sudden exclamation of “Shit!” Followed by fast footsteps seemed to confirm this theory.   
A moment later his curtain was pulled back. Harry’s face was very red and Remus couldn’t blame him for being embarrassed. 

“Sorry about that Professor Lupin, but I see the ointment has already cleared up most of those boils. If you’ll turn around I’ll apply it to your back and then you’re good to go.” Remus stared blankly at him for a moment before he remember his reason for actually being in the hospital wing in the first place and turned around. Harry’s movements were quick and professional, like any doctor’s would have been and Remus hated how much it turned him on especially because he knew the other wolf would be able to smell it a mile off. 

“Okay, give that about ten minutes and then you can dress and head back to your rooms. I’m going to head out for the night but if you have any problems just floo.” Harry told him even as he began to move toward the back of the Hospital Wing where the healer rooms were located. 

“Or don’t” Called Oz with a vicious smirk as he followed Harry out. 

Remus was left alone to discover that Healer’s quarters don’t have the same silencing charms as the rest of the staff. This made sense Remus supposed, because a Healer needs to be able to hear any disruptions in the hospital wing. He imagined it wasn’t much of an issue for Poppy, who had occupied the rooms since before Remus started at Hogwarts. He pondered knocking on the door and politely letting Harry know but instead he stayed right where he was listening and imagining. 

There was a heavy thunk that had to be someone being pushed against the wall, that was probably Harry because he was smaller and this close to the moon a wolf would be incredibly forceful. Remus could hear their mouth’s clash and the heated panting of their breath. He supposed that it was only his wolf ears that made this possible. He was achingly hard and he could almost imagine himself there, instead of that stupid cocky Oz who was nowhere near good enough for Harry. 

The sound of a moan rumbled through the room followed by a sharp gasp and a whimper. The latter two were definitely Harry and Remus could just see him. Pushed up against the door face flushed and red lips open and panting. He reached down for his own erection almost unconsciously as he continued to listen and paint a picture in his head. He imagined the whimper was from sinking his teeth into Harry’s soft tan skin. Remus curled his fingers around himself as things escalated in the next room. He heard a gasp and then a softly muttered ‘fuck’ before the sound of tearing fabric told him the other wolf had become impatient. 

Harry laughed breathlessly.

“I hope you plan to mend those they’re-” But whatever they were Remus wouldn’t find out because Harry himself off with a long moan. Remus listened closely and was able to identify the wet smack of lips against hard skin and realized the other wolf must be sucking Harry off. Harry keened suddenly and Remus imagined it was because the wolf had started working his hole while he sucked him. 

Remus tried to imagine it Harry’s hard cock flushed and eager, he’d never seen it and he wondered based on what he’d heard if Harry would have a nest of black pubic hair or if he would have shaved it. The thought of it made his cock twitch in his hand and on the other side of the door Harry began to speak. 

“God stop I can’t. . .Just fuck me already.” he begged and Remus imagined it was him Harry was talking to and almost came right then. 

“Are you sure?” The deeper lust ravaged timber of Oz’s voice almost broke Remus from his fantasy but Harry’s response had him on the edge again. 

“Fuck yes, who was it that was just complaining about not wanting to fuck a girl? What’s the point if I won’t feel it tomorrow?” This was apparently all the other wolf needed because there was another thunk which told Remus Oz was going to do Harry right up against the door as Harry released a scream of pleasure and Remus had to squeeze the base of his cock when he thought about pushing into Harry’s tight heat. For a moment there was only heavy breathing until Harry asked somewhat breathlessly. 

“So are you gonna fuck me or just stand here and cuddle?”

Remus could track their movements by the way Harry’s back slammed against the door with every thrust. He pictured Harry his legs around Remus waist clinging to him for dear life while he just buried himself again and again. Harry’s moans and screams echoed through the hospital wing along with muttered curse words and instructions. 

“Fuck. . .Harder. . .right there. . .Come on Harder I can take it. . .” Soon even that stopped as Harry devolved into desperate hissing noises that which Remus recognized as parseltongue. Finally Harry let out a final desperate shout and Remus came harder than he ever had in his life biting down on his lip so hard he drew blood to keep from making a sound and giving himself away.


	5. Quidditch

The next morning at breakfast Harry was grinning broadly and Remus could smell Oz on him the second Harry entered the Great Hall. It made him want to vomit or scream or find Oz and tear him limb from fucking limb. He only managed to force a few bites down, trying to hold his breath so he wouldn’t have to smell his mate’s scent mingled with the wolf’s. When Oz strolled in with a cocky grin and a bunch of flowers in his hand it was more than Remus could take and he fled to the privacy of his rooms. 

As soon as the door was shut and locked behind him Remus let his rage free. A scream that was half agonized heartbreak and half earth shattering rage tore through him before he picked up one of his chairs and tore it apart with his bare hands. He threw his small sitting room table and when it didn’t shatter against the wall he battered it with his fists until it was merely chunks of wood small enough to fuel a fire. He continued to tear his room to shreds until he had no breath left for screaming and his hands ached and bled. With his rage spent however his heartbreak remained and he collapsed to the ground face soaked with bitter tears.

The mate drive was more than just lust as Remus had discovered during the years he was away from Harry. Though he’d never spoken of it he’d yearned for the younger man. He’d read every news article about him and saved any pictures that were printed. Whenever he got letters from home he’d scanned them for Harry’s name before bothering to read them. He’d been ashamed of himself, of his obsession with the younger male knowing he should control it better. Returning to Hogwarts had only intensified the agony because instead of just reading about the kind of man Harry had become he could witness it. Harry was compassionate, funny, kind and everything else Remus found appealing in another human being.

Remus knew this is why his mating instinct had chosen Harry. He was perfect for Remus in every way. Well except for the one that really mattered. All his perfection didn’t change the fact that he was utterly out of Remus’s reach. The presence of Oz proved that, why would Harry renounce a younger, fitter wolf for a man literally old enough to be his father. The wolf in Remus wanted to challenge Oz to show his mate he could overpower any who vied for his affections but Harry was not a wolf. Harry was a healthy attractive man and all challenging Oz would do was make his own inappropriate feelings known. 

Sometime later Remus had calmed enough to put his room to rights. The joy of magic was that a fit of destructive temper was easily cleaned up. Though as Remus stood in his now untouched room he almost wished it wasn’t so easy. He felt that grief as powerful as his should leave some kind of mark. With this in mind Remus didn’t bother to repair the glass statuette that Zeke had given him last year, instead he left in on the ground where he had thrown it. Like a tribute to his pain. 

Remus didn’t see Harry until the next afternoon when he dropped by only long enough to bring Remus his Wolfsbane before hurrying off again. Oz had remained around and Remus had been able to tell that Harry had slept with him again not only from the scent but from the slight limp Harry sported. Remus wondered why, as a healer, Harry didn’t just spell the pain away but then he remember his words about wanting to feel it he next day and had to swallow down another overpowering wave of lust. 

 

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A week after classes resumed Remus was approached by McGonagall just before dinner was set to start. 

“Remus, I noticed you haven’t had a chance to sign up for the staff and students match yet. Luckily for you Filius decided not to compete this year so we still have a position open for you.” She told him. 

“Staff and Students?” Remus asked not actually sure what she was talking about. Minerva smiled at him.

“Just as I suspected, you’ve not been told. We went over it in the teachers meeting before classes started in September and there is a sign up sheet in the teachers lounge but you’ve kept very much to your quarters this term so you probably haven’t seen it.” 

“No I haven’t,” Remus agreed still not really sure what she was talking about but already sensing he would not be able to avoid whatever it was. 

“After the war we needed to raise funds to repair the school you know and so we started having a Quidditch match, a mixed house team of students versus a team of staff. Tickets are available for two galleons and anyone even people who don’t attend Hogwarts can purchase one. We also hold a raffle that anyone can buy into for 2 knuts a ticket. This year we’re giving away an autographed set of Quidditch balls. Dear Harry is ever so good about signing things when it’s for charity. After the repairs were finished we found no one wanted to discontinue the matches so this year we’re donating the proceeds to young Miss. Granger’s aid society.” 

“Well I’d be happy to buy a ticket and some raffle tickets Minerva, but I’m much too old to play.” Remus told her but Minerva snorted.

“Nonsense you’re looking at one of the beaters and I’ve got at least three decades on you. We need a chaser and I remember well enough that you and James Potter used to practice together. I know you never made the team but that was more because of your health issues. I expect you at the pitch this afternoon at four o'clock for our first team practice. The match is in two weeks so we haven’t a moment to lose if we wish to trounce those youngsters.” Before Remus could further protest Minerva left the room. 

With no other choice Remus found himself marching down to the Quidditch Pitch broom in hand, wearing blue jeans and a warm jumper since he had no Quidditch gear of his own, ten minutes to four. When he stepped onto the pitch he was greeted warmly as he looked around at who else had been roped into the team. All the younger staff, excepting Harry, were in attendance. Neville Longbottom and Adrian Bole were chatting together while Minerva, Aurora Sinstra and Septima Vector were all chatting together. Remus did a quick head count and realized they were one teammate short. 

He wasn’t even surprised when Harry strolled out of the change rooms grinning broadly and looking like walking sex in his own set of Quidditch leathers. These weren’t his Gryffindor set but instead a set obviously custom made in black and green. He had his broom swung over one shoulder, a state of the art LightingStryk, and the box no doubt containing the various balls under the other. He had a whistle held in his teeth and he blew two quick bursts to get the groups attention.

“Alright team lets sort ourselves into positions yeah? Chaser’s to my left, Beater’s right and Keeper center.” Remus watched as Minerva and Bole moved to one side, while he, Aurora and Neville moved left. Septima was apparently the Keeper because she moved to the center. Harry nodded. 

“Perfect, alright team. Now we all know this is the fifth year the Staff and Student game has run and we all know that in the last four years Staff has only won once and that was only because we got lucky when the student seeker fell off his broom and had to spend a week in the hospital wing.” The other Staff members nodded solemnly. “Not this year! This year we will triumph! This year we have experience on our side. We have Professor Lupin with us for the first time and I’ve been assured by Minerva he’s an excellent Chaser and I think with his longer arms he’d be an excellent replacement since Filius decided not to play this year. Alright Team lets get on those brooms and start running some drills.” With another short burst on the whistle they were up in the air. 

Over the next two weeks Quidditch practice became the best and worst part of Remus day. Best because it was the only time he looked at or talked to Harry. The rest of the time he studiously avoided his mate but when on the field he could watch him to his hearts content with no one the wiser. He kept their conversations strictly to strategy but he could talk to him and he could watch his face light up with joy every time he mounted his broom. The practices were punishing to Remus out of shape body but he was determined to show Harry his value and pushed himself to the limit even though he knew it was a pointless endeavour. 

Finally the day of the match arrived and Remus was surprised to find himself quite nervous. He knew how much Harry loved Quidditch, it was obvious every time the other man mounted a broom and he wanted to give his mate a win. Harry had explained to the team that because it was essentially an exhibition game they had to try and make it last as long as possible as well as try to win. Otherwise Harry told them, he would just catch the snitch right at the beginning. Remus knew he was telling the truth because he’d once seen Harry Snitch chasing for fun and he’d caught it in less than ten minutes and five of that he stayed on the ground to give it time to fly off. 

It was a good day for it, the sky was clear and while the ground was still covered in snow it was hard crisp snow that didn’t reflect too much blinding light. Remus was surprised by the number of people who attended. They’d had to set up additional seating to accommodate all the outsiders who’d bought tickets. The student team was made up of the best players of all four houses as chosen by the captain of the current leader in house cup standings. This year that meant Ravenclaw 7th year Brody Whitjop. He’d chosen well and despite his high hopes Remus wasn’t sure they could beat the younger team. 

Remus lost all track of time as they played. He only hoped Harry was paying closer attention as he frantically threw Quaffle after Quaffle toward the student Keeper. He thought he’d made several goals but didn’t know for sure because he was too busy trying to keep moving, keep scoring. He desperately wanted Harry to be impressed by him, he couldn’t help it. The wolf had found a way to prove itself and instinct forced Remus to give it his all. 

Finally Madam Hooch’s whistle blew to notify the end of the game and Remus looked up at the scoreboard. 

Students: 450

Staff:500

Remus barely registered it when he was surrounded by his teammates. Minerva was actually crying with joy as they all embraced each other. Then Harry was there, his arms thrown around Remus neck and embracing him warmly. The smell of him surrounded Remus, the musky scent of his sweat tinged with arousal and his joy almost overwhelmed Remus and when Harry spoke he was close enough that his breath brushed against his ear.

“You were Brilliant!” Remus pulled back and Harry’s face was flushed with delight and so close to his own. It was all Remus could do not to kiss him. He yanked himself away from Harry’s arms and ran from the field without another word. If Remus had looked behind him he would have seen the joy fade from Harry’s face and hurt take its place. But Remus didn’t look, he just kept running until he was safely back in his rooms.


	6. Telling the Truth or Something Like it.

Remus stayed in his room the rest of Saturday and most of Sunday. He was moping, he knew it. He hated himself for almost losing control and worried obsessively that Harry had somehow caught on to his less than pure desires. He was terrified to face his mate and see the accusation and disgust in his eyes. So he stayed in his room grading the essays the students had handed in after their return from break. Once the essay’s were graded he reviewed all his lesson plans for the year. 

He was just in the process of reorganizing all of his books by the muggle dewey decimal system when a furious knocking drew him to his door. He didn’t want to answer dreading that it might be Harry on the other side so he waited to see if whomever it was would go away. Instead the knocking resumed so Remus approached the door using his advanced sense of smell to see if he could guess who was outside. Remus was surprised when he recognized the smell of Neville Longbottom. He swung open the door and found himself face to face with a very angry Herbology professor. 

“Neville! This is unexpected, please come in.” He told the other man politely as he swung open the door. Neville looked surprised but promptly stepped through the open door. “Would you like something? Perhaps a cup of tea?” Remus offered but Neville shook his head.

“No I won’t be long, I came to ask you what your problem with Harry is.” Neville told him taking Remus by surprise. 

“I don’t have a problem with Harry,” Remus told him perhaps too quickly because Neville gave him a skeptical look. 

“When Harry first told him he thought you were avoiding him I honestly thought he was being stupid. He’s pretty insecure and I figured he was reading too much into it but the Quidditch match was so blatant I doubt anybody doesn’t know now.” Neville told him scowling the whole while. Remus blinked unsure of how to respond. He hadn’t meant to make it seem like he was avoiding Harry. 

“I-That wasn’t my intention.” Remus said after a long moment being stared down by his former student. 

“Harry thinks you blame him for Sirius’s death. If that’’s true I think its pretty messed up. He was only fifteen for gods sake!” Neville exclaimed and Remus was dumbfounded.

“Of course I don’t blame him for Sirius’s death, that was his own fault. Sirius should never have been there and when he decided to go he should have been more careful. He was reckless that’s why he died.” Remus told him. 

“Well maybe you should tell Harry that.” Neville told him “And while you’re at it tell him whatever reason you do have for avoiding him because it’s pretty clear you are avoiding him.” 

“I will, thank you Neville.” Neville nodded before leaving the room. Once he was gone Remus collapsed into a chair and summoned himself a bottle of firewhiskey. He would talk to Harry and tell him the truth. He couldn’t keep hurting his mate without giving an explanation even if that meant he had to be told outright how unsuitable he was. 

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Remus waited a week before he plucked up the courage to actually summon Harry to speak with him. He made sure he had a stack of papers to be graded simply so he’d have an excuse not watch the horror that would inevitably appear on Harry’s face when he explained the situation. He was tense all through his last classes, having asked Harry to meet him directly after his last class of the day. When he finally heard the sound of Harry’s sharp knock against the door he straighten up and called for him to enter. 

He watched Harry move slowly into the room as if he was hesitant to be there at all. Remus tried to smile at him. 

“Harry, thank you for meeting with me. Please sit down,” Remus asked gesturing to the seat in front of his desk. Harry sat, his back straight and his eyes trained onto Remus face. 

“I’ll admit I was surprised to hear from you.” Harry told him his voice soft. Remus cleared his throat awkwardly. 

“Yes, I know I’ve been. . .distant since returning to Hogwarts. I’m sorry about that it wasn’t my intention to be unkind.” Harry shrugged and averted his eyes reminding Remus almost painfully of the boy he used to be. “That’s why I asked you to come down. I feel I owe you an explanation.” 

“You don’t, of course you don’t.” Harry said quickly shaking his head. Remus waved him off. 

“I do, I have been inconsiderate to your feelings and given you the wrong idea.” Remus looked up and met Harry’s eyes for the first time in months “I wanted to assure you Harry I do not nor have I ever blamed you for Sirius Black’s death. I lay the blame where it belongs at the feet of Lord Voldemort and Bellatrix Lestrange.” Harry gasped slightly and broke eye contact. When he spoke his voice was shaking and hesitant.

“Then why. . .?” He trailed off but Remus knew what he was asking and directed his eyes at the papers in front of him unable to face Harry when he learned the truth. Remus took a deep calming breath before he began to try and explain.

“As a werewolf, I have certain. . . drives. Normally they do not affect my daily life but when you turned seventeen I realized much to my own horror and disgust that my wolf had chosen you. . .as. . .as it’s mate. Please understand it’s not something I wanted and if I could change it Harry I swear that I would but as it stands I can only resist it. It is very difficult to be around you because of the way the wolf responds to you. I really am very sorry Harry but I don’t want anything from you. I promise not to let this unfortunate circumstance affect your life in anyway.” Remus risked a glance at Harry and wished he hadn’t. The other man looked as though he was on the verge of tears. When he spoke however Harry’s voice was even. 

“I understand, there is no reason for you to apologize Remus. I mean as you’ve said, it’s not your choice and the very thought of it disgusts you. If what you need from me is space I will not bother you any longer.” With that Harry stood and left the room.

Remus didn’t realize how literally Harry had taken him until two weeks later on the eve of the full moon. He was surprised to see Bole at his door carrying his dose of Wolfsbane instead of Harry. Bole gave him a startled look when Remus asked if Harry was busy. 

“Healer Potter got called away two weeks ago. He was asked to participate in the International Healer exchange. Healer Juan Hernandez arrived a few days ago Potter is off somewhere in Mexico I think.” 

“Ah I suppose I’ve been spending too much time in my rooms. I hadn’t heard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somebody left a comment begging me to update. I'm afraid I've been pretty wrapped up in a Supernatural/HP fic I've been working on on FF.net. I'm sorry for neglecting you!


	7. Downward Spiral

Harry was bringing whole new meaning to the phrase downward spiral. The healer exchange program was a continuing learning program so he could learn new techniques not yet taught at St. Mungo’s. The medi wizard who’d been sent to Hogwarts to replace him was not yet a full fledged healer and had to spend time working with patients to complete his certification. Harry didn’t have to see any patients and was only required to attend about five hours worth of classes and demonstrations three days a week. This left plenty of hours in the week to drink heavily and fuck liberally. 

He wasn’t the only partier in their group but he was by far the most committed. He was also shagging the course administrator Miguel. One of the things Harry really liked about South America was how open minded they were about Magical Creatures. In Europe Miguel couldn’t have worked as a hospital orderly. He was a vampire and the general belief of most people back home was that he could never be trusted around the ill. Luckily they didn’t hold with such ideas in Brazil where Harry was now spending his time. 

“How much did you drink last night?” Harry groaned as he rolled over to look up at his lover. His head was pounding and thankfully Miguel always kept his flat dim. Being a vampire he used magic to protect himself from the sunlight but he was no more a fan of bright lights than Harry was at the moment. Miguel clucked his tongue disapprovingly and pulled the sheets from Harry’s body. “You have to get up Harry. You have class in an hour and the hangover potion takes thirty minutes to work.” 

“Can’t I just stay in bed?” Harry whined “You could stay with me and when the hangover potion kicks in I’ll let you do anything you want to me.” 

“I’m sure you would but no. I’m giving the lecture today, how would it look if both of us were missing?” Miguel responded sharply, his accent becoming more pronounced as his annoyance increased. 

“Like we’re two incredibly sexy men who are having too much fun to bother about class?” Harry asked throwing Miguel a smirk even as he rolled out of the bed and moved toward the bathroom. He squinted at himself in the mirror taking in his bloodshot eyes, and ghostly pale blood smeared skin.

“Better grab me a blood replenisher too you vicious beast. I think you took too much.” Harry called to Miguel as he stepped into the shower, moaning as the hot water caressed his skin. A moment later he shivered as Miguel stepped into the shower behind him and ran a cool hand along his back before handing him his potions. 

“You call me a beast, I’ve never met a young man as self destructive as you are Harry. A younger vampire would have slipped and killed you by now with the way you beg to be bitten.” Harry drank the potions and leaned back against Miguel who had already begun kissing his shoulder and neck. Harry moaned as Miguel allowed his fangs to tease his sensitive skin in the exact spot he had bitten and healed him the night before. 

“Not self destructive.” Harry murmured as Miguel’s hand drifted lower Harry opened his eyes and looked up into his lover’s face. Miguel had been quite dark skinned when he was turned but the change and the 150 years since had reduced his skin tone to a very light tan. His hair was jet black and reached his shoulders. His eyes were as black as his hair and Harry could see his reflection in them as he looked up at his lover. Miguel had been in his thirties when he was turned but as a field laborer he’d been in good shape and even now he was layered in firm muscle under his icy skin. 

“Don’t contradict me,” Miguel hissed against his skin allowing his fangs to scrape a little more firmly and leave a slight mark. Harry whimpered but more from the sudden feral look that entered Miguel’s dark eyes. Unbidden Remus eyes floated into Harry’s thoughts and he wondered what he looked like when he wanted someone, if his inner animal showed through the way Miguel’s always did. Suddenly Miguel let loose a snarling growl and shoved Harry against the wall. 

“You are thinking of that wolf again.” Miguel snapped angrily “I will not have you thinking of him while I touch you.” 

Harry couldn’t resist a bit of defiance even as he swelled with arousal from Miguel’s aggressive behaviour. 

“Maybe if you tried a little harder you’d be able to hold my attention.” Harry told him and Miguel growled. Harry gasped as he felt Miguel’s hard cock against his ass and Miguel pressed him flush against the wall. 

“I can’t hold your attention? I’m going to fuck you so hard you won’t be able to sit without remembering me.” As Miguel spoke he spread Harry open and nudged his hole with his cock. Harry moaned as he realized Miguel had no intention of preparing him at all. He was still slightly loose from their last bout of fucking but that was hours ago and Harry couldn’t hold his scream as Miguel pushed into him with one rough stroke. 

Miguel didn’t wait for him to adjust as he quickly pulled back out and pushed in even harder. His entry was slicker this time and Harry groaned realizing he was probably torn. Miguel seemed to realize it too because he growled again and the fangs which before had only been resting against his skin tore into him. Miguel held on drinking from him even as he fucked Harry, he changed his angle slightly so that he was battering against Harry’s prostate. It hurt and Harry loved every second of it. Moaning and whimpering as his cock was pressed against the wall of the shower, the slick tile doing very little to ease his need for friction and release. 

“Do I have your attention now?” Miguel demanded detaching his fangs from Harry’s shoulder. Harry moaned again.  
“Yes Miguel please. . .” He begged “Miguel, Miguel Oh god Miguel!” 

 

Miguel continued to thrust viciously but much to Harry’s relief his hand, finally warm from the steaming shower, reached around to grasp his cock and pull him off in time with his violent thrusts. It wasn’t long until Harry was screaming and shooting his release all over the tile in front of him. Miguel continued to thrust into him a few more times before finding his own release. They stood together for a moment Harry breathing heavily as Miguel began to lick up the blood from his bite mark. Harry knew his lover had bitten his own lip and that the healing properties of his vampire blood would heal the mark so that by the time they left the shower it would be as if he’d never bitten him.

Harry’s legs shook as he stepped from the shower but Miguel was quick to catch his arm and help to steady him. Harry sent him a grateful grin but Miguel frowned at him as he walked him back into his room. Harry sat on the bed and summoned his clothes to him so he wouldn’t have to try to stand right away. Miguel left the room and when he re entered it he held another blood replenisher in his hand. 

“I’m sorry about that Harry, I shouldn’t have lost my temper.” Miguel told him though Harry noted he didn’t offer to heal him. Harry just smiled at him. 

“I’m not sorry, that was brilliant.” Miguel searched his face as if expecting to find fear or anger but Harry just smiled at him as he pulled his clothes on. After a moment Miguel shook his head.

“No wonder you’re a werewolf’s destined mate.” He said his voice soft and Harry felt a sharp pain in his chest at the mention of Remus. He looked away from Miguel unable to face him with the pain of Remus rejection still so sharp in his chest. In an instant Miguel was beside him stroking his hair and kissing him gently. “He was a fool. Anyone with eyes can see you are perfect. Do not let one man’s idiocy hurt you Mi Amor.” 

Harry drew a shuddering breath and nodded sending a weak smile at Miguel before leaning forward to catch his lips in kiss. When Harry drew back he smiled and moved to stand..

“Come on then darling, I think you have a lecture to give and I for one am eager to hear it.” Harry told him. Miguel laughed but allowed Harry to pull him up and together they walked toward the floo. 

 

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If working at Hogwarts with Harry there was torture for Remus than working at Hogwarts with him gone was hell. While Remus was certain Harry had not actually told anyone his reason for leaving several of the teachers seemed to have guessed that Remus was the cause and he couldn’t leave his rooms without garnering dozens of furious glares. Harry’s scent lingered everywhere and Remus would catch it at odd moments and turn only to find himself alone or in a hall of crowded students but with no Harry in sight. 

Remus had been so focussed on resisting Harry he hadn’t realized until he was gone just how much Harry’s very presence had eased his wolf. Remus felt constantly on edge his inner wolf was furious with him and Remus had no doubt it blamed him for sending Harry away. Remus felt badly about that as well. He’d never intended to chase Harry from the castle. Remus had expected Harry to be horrified and embarrassed perhaps by Remus shameful urges but he’d never dreamed that would push him away from his home. Remus knew what Hogwarts meant to Harry better than most having always felt a similar connection to the castle. 

As June approach Remus was thankful his year was nearly over. The one benefit of Harry’s reaction is he could now return to the American pack and no one could accuse him of not having tried. After all there wasn’t a much clearing rejection then completely leaving the country. He had his things packed almost two weeks before the school year was over and worked through his last weeks there on autopilot. When the day finally came and classes ended he was the first out of Hogwarts, flooing directly to the Ministry of Magic to purchase a portkey and return to America.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this one. It took a direction I honestly was not expecting but I'm pretty happy with it.


	8. A memory to Savor

Zeke looked up in surprise when he caught the scent of his friend Remus Lupin. When he’d sent the wolf home to England it was with the expectation that he would likely never see him again or if he did it would be in the company of his young mate. Now his friend had returned, alone and positively reeking of misery. He stood and opened the door to his office to beckon the man inside before he could knock. Remus entered and slouched into the chair across from Zeke’s desk. Zeke moved back to his desk and without offering poured his friend a tall glass of whiskey. To his surprise Remus drank it down without even a token protest. 

“What happened Remus?” Zeke asked in concern, Remus shrugged before lifting his head to meet Zeke’s concerned gaze. 

“Just as I expected. I told him and he rejected me. He was so horrified he actually left the school, the continent actually.” Remus told him in a dead voice. Zeke’s mouth dropped open in shock. 

“You’re joking.” He replied before he could censor himself. 

“Do I look like I’m laughing? He didn’t even say goodbye, just took an internship somewhere in South America.” Zeke narrowed his eyes in confusion. 

What Remus was saying didn’t make any sense at all. While his friend had been away Zeke had taken the time to search out bonded mates in other packs. There were several with similar situations to Remus where large age differences were present. The chosen mate’s all reported the same experience. Once they’d encountered their mate even if they had not reached their maturity they were drawn to them. One young man who’d known his mate since birth had stated he’d never had sexual fantasies about anyone other than his mate and had been thrilled to discover the mateship when the time came. 

Zeke couldn’t understand why Remus’s mate had responded so differently. Looking at Remus though and considering the things he knew about his friend he couldn’t help but suspect the werewolf himself was to blame. 

“What exactly did you say to the boy when you told him?” Zeke asked after a moment of thoughtful silence. Again Remus simply shrugged. 

“Only the truth.” Zeke had to work not to scowl when Remus did not elaborate further. 

“I wonder Remus, may I watch the memory? I have a pensieve buried somewhere around here.” Zeke asked unable to leave the matter alone until he was certain that Remus had truly been rejected. Remus shot him a disgruntled look. 

“Do you think I would lie about this Zeke?” He demanded and Zeke quickly held his hands up in a defensive position. 

“I only want to understand Remus, I’ve been doing research since you left. It doesn’t make sense that your mate would reject you. Did you arrive too late? Was the boy already involved with someone else?” 

“He had a lover, another werewolf actually but I don’t think they were serious about one another. He only visited once at the beginning of the year.” Remus told him his tone pained. 

“Then will you show me?” Zeke prompted and this time Remus gave a sigh before nodding and lifting his wand to his temple. While Remus drew out the memory Zeke began to search around his office before locating his pensieve stuffed into the back of a cupboard behind some paperwork. He brought it to the desk and allowed Remus to drop the thread into it. With one last deep breath Zeke plunged into the memory. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Remus waited in silence as the Alpha reviewed his memory of the day Harry had rejected him. He wasn’t sure why the other wolf had insisted so adamantly on seeing it for himself but he hoped it would be enough to close the subject permanently. Once Zeke accepted him back into the pack none of the other’s were likely to bother him about Harry again and Remus could live out his life in peace. After a long wait in which Remus finished another glass of whiskey Zeke raised his face from the pensieve and fixed Remus with a long look. 

“You, my friend, are an ass.” Zeke told him. Remus jolted in surprise before he scowled up at the other man. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” he demanded angrily. Instead of answering Zeke grabbed Remus hand and used all his Alpha strength to plunge them both into the memory once more. Remus struggled to jerk free of the other man.

“I have no desire to watch this! I lived it remember.” He shouted angrily.

“Shut up you idiot and for the love of god just look at your mate!” the outrage in Zeke’s voice made Remus stop struggling. Normally the other wolf was calm, not quick to anger but right now he sounded furious. Curiosity caused him to look up, he was standing behind himself in the memory and could see Harry’s face and body quite clearly as he spoke.

Unlike when Remus had spoken to him with his eyes firm on his grading, this time Remus watched Harry’s face as his memory self told him the news. He had not expected to see the wild joy that lit Harry’s face when Remus said the word “mate.” Remus was hard pressed to hold in a pained whimper as the look faded from joy to crushing hurt as Remus told him he didn’t want anything from Harry. With a pull he felt Zeke remove him from the pensieve. 

“He didn’t reject you Remus,” Zeke told him softly “You rejected him.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Healer in Residence Miguel Zia was rushing through his paperwork. His mind was entirely elsewhere, he’d left his young lover sleeping and was eager to return to him again. In more than hundred years of his immortal life Miguel had taken many lovers but he knew memories of Harry Potter would stay with him long after the other’s had faded into obscurity. The boy was as beautiful as he was reckless, there was a fire in him that burned hot enough to make Miguel feel as if his heart would begin to beat anew. Miguel was no fool however, he’d known from the very first time he’d taken Harry to bed that it would not be a lasting relationship. 

Harry had been rejected by his destined mate and was seeking to relieve his pain. Miguel had no doubt that be it in a day or a decade Harry’s true mate would eventually seek him out and try to repair their severed bond. In the meantime Miguel would help the young man curb his more self-destructive habits and enjoy the heat while it lasted. He felt particularly urgent today, there was something on the wind that told him he should cherish the time with Harry while it lasted. As he finished marking his last paper he stood and it was all he could manage to walk at a reasonable pace toward the floo. The other students all knew of their liaison, it could hardly remain a secret when he’d convinced Harry to leave the student dorm and live at his home instead. Despite this Miguel did not wish to cause more rumor’s he could wait the extra five minutes to walk to the floo instead of running. 

He was nearly there when he stopped. He’d caught the scent of a werewolf and he was rather certain he knew who it would be. He turned and moved toward the Administration office using his sensitive hearing to find out what was being said within.

“I’m looking for the address of one of your exchange healers. I had hoped to speak with him or at least leave him a message.” The voice was soft and polite but it it made Miguel tighten up with possessive rage. Despite always having known that Harry didn’t really belong to him the thought that this werewolf who had foolishly cast him aside, would have him instead was infuriating. 

“Well that depends on the preference of the student sir. If you’ll just give me his name I’ll take a look for you.” The office secretary Mindy told him sweetly. 

“Ah yes, his name is Harry Potter.” Remus informed them and Miguel could not help but roll his eyes at the giggles the sprung from Mindy and the other office witch Marlena. 

“Oh I’m afraid I can’t give you his address.” Mindy told Remus rather breathlessly, “You’ll have to asked Healer Zia. His office is right down the hall.” 

Rather than force the man to come look for him Miguel used this chance to step into the office and take the first look at the man who would steal his lover from him. Remus Lupin was of slight build with slightly graying hair. He was handsome enough Miguel supposed with his sharp amber eyes. Miguel could not resist a smirk when he saw the Werewolf’s eyes darken with anger as he no doubt caught Harry’s scent. Miguel knew he was practically bathed in it after spending so much time together. 

“Did I hear my name mentioned?” Miguel purred, sending a smirk toward the wolf. Mindy blushed as she always did whenever Miguel spoke directly to her. 

“Yes Healer Zia, this man here was just asking about Healer Potter’s address. I told him he’d have to request it from you.” Mindy advised and Miguel had to control the urge to roll his eyes. This girl still didn’t seem to grasp the concept of heightened senses. 

“Indeed and tell me sir, what business have you with Healer Potter?” Miguel asked even though he knew the answer perfectly well. The wolf scowled at him and Miguel was certain that had it only been the two of them he would have growled as well. 

“It is about a personal matter. Perhaps you could deliver a message for me?” He asked through gritted teeth. Miguel waved his hand dismissively. 

“No, no you are welcome to stop by. Here I will write down my address and we’ll expect you in an hour or so. I imagine he’s still in bed at the moment. Poor lad had quite the long night.” Miguel said suggestively causing the office witches to giggle and Remus to snarl. Quickly jotting down his address on a spare bit of parchment Miguel handed the address to Remus.

“Thank you.” The wolf told him through a clenched jaw. Miguel waved him off.

“Remember an hour, no sooner.” He called behind him as he left the office. This time he made no effort to appear calm as he rushed toward the floo. He had an hour and he intended to use it well.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry awoke to cold hands running down his back. He shivered as the hands were trailed by a teasing tongue. The low chuckle Miguel released as he continued to lick and nip along Harry’s exposed buttocks and thighs caused Harry’s heart rate to pick up. He moaned softly as Miguel’s questing hands rolled him over, lapping at the pulse point of Harry’s inner thigh. Harry let his legs fall open as he lifted himself to watch his lover’s progress. 

He was still feeling rather limp and drowsy, having been up late the night before. Not to mention the blood loss, which even with numerous potions always left him hazy. Miguel’s hand had found Harry’s prick, eliciting another moan as Miguel began to pump him. Harry arched into his surprisingly warm hand eagerly. Only to scream at the pleasure/pain of Miguel’s teeth opening the artery on his thigh. For a few minutes Miguel continued to pump him and drink before pulling back and licking at the wounds to close them. 

“That’s a hell of a way to wake a bloke up.” Harry told him grinning, Miguel smirked and climbed up his body to pull him into a deep kiss. Harry responded moaning into the vampire's mouth until spots began to appear before his eyes as oxygen became a problem. Miguel pulled back but continued to trail kiss down Harry’s neck and shoulders. His hands drifting lower to tease and prod at his opening. 

“You’re hand is warm,” Harry observed before breaking off in a moan as Miguel pressed his finger into him. 

“Magic is a beautiful thing my Harry,” Miguel told him his lips brushing against Harry’s skin as he spoke. Harry momentarily wondered again at how odd it was not to feel any breath from his lips but forgot it as Miguel began to rub against his prostate. Harry let his head fall back moaning and arching against Miguel’s fingers as he stretched him open. Miguel took his time working his fingers in and out. Harry felt like his body was on fire, his cock was so hard it ached. 

“Please-Miguel Please you’re killing me.” Harry panted as Miguel continued to slowly work his hole with teasing strokes. Harry whimpered as the fingers were finally removed but groaned in pleasure when he felt Miguel’s large member replace them. Despite Harry’s desperation Miguel seemed determined to drag things out entering him slowly and pulling at just as slowly. Harry bucked his hips trying to force his lover to speed up but Miguel held him still with a strength Harry knew he couldn’t hope to match. 

“Why?” He whined needily as Miguel continued to his slow torture and his love quirked a devious smile before responding. 

“This mi ángel caído, is a memory I shall savor.” Then with no warning Miguel thrust into him fast and hard pistoning his hips and battering Harry’s prostate with every push. Harry screamed arching his back as his orgasm built under the onslaught. Harry was quivering at the edge, desperate words falling from his lips without his knowledge when Miguel leaned down and bit into his shoulder. The sudden shock of pain was too much for Harry and his orgasm came crashing down around him. 

Harry blacked out but was shaken back to life a moment later by Miguel. 

“You must shower and dress. Today is an important day.” The vampire told him and pulled him from the bed pushing him toward the bathroom. Harry stumbled a bit but moved to obey, as he turned on the shower he could have sworn he heard a knock at the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed this chapter! Sorry for the long delay on getting it up but I don't expect you to have to wait that long for the next one! I couldn't resist just a bit more of Miguel so I hope you've enjoyed him. Leave a comment!


	9. A visitor

When the door opened Remus was almost overwhelmed by the smell of blood and sex and Harry. Unfortunately it wasn’t Harry waiting for him on the other side of the door, it was the vampire Miguel Zia. Traditionally werewolves and vampires had considered themselves enemies but as the centuries progressed those old ideas were put aside. No, it was not the Healer’s vampire nature which had Remus eager to tear him limb from limb. He was sensible enough to recognize pure jealousy when it coursed through him. 

“Ah Remus Lupin, exactly on time I see. Please come in, Harry will join us shortly.” Miguel opened the door and gestured Remus inside. 

“You know my name?” Remus questioned knowing he had not offered it early. Zia’s lips formed into a slight smirk but his eyes were icy cold. 

“Call it a lucky guess. Tea?” Remus accepted the drink and Miguel promptly summoned a tray of tea things and set to work. 

“I hadn’t realized vampires could drink tea.” Remus observed aloud. Healer Zia froze for a moment before continuing his movements.

“I do not, but Harry enjoys a cup of tea. Especially after any strenuous activity.” Miguel smirked and Remus couldn’t hold in the snarling growl that sprang from his lips at the blatant reference to Remus’ mate. The humor left Miguel Zia’s face so quickly it was actually startling. 

“What’s this? Feeling a bit possessive of the man you threw away? The man you nearly destroyed? What right do you think you have to come here and be angry about who your mate is fucking? You threw him away and in the cruelest way possible you have no right to anger.” Miguel’s words hit him as painfully as if they were hexes. Remus first instinct was to argue but he found he had no words. 

He didn’t know whether to be relieved or terrified when the sound of the shower finally ceased in the next room. Miguel shot him a cool look before excusing himself to go check on Harry. Remus was left alone to wait for them. Miguel’s words playing like a broken record in his mind. How could he possible fix the damage he had wreaked. Suddenly the steps he’d already taken seemed presumptuous and hasty. How could Harry ever forgive him after all he had done? Before he could obsess too much however the sound of Harry’s laughter echoed through the room. Remus caught his breath as the door swung open and Harry stumbled into the room. 

Harry stopped abruptly when he spotted Remus, giving the werewolf ample time to note the changes in his mate. Harry was thinner than he’d been at Hogwarts, his skin which previously held a healthy golden hue was pale and ashen. His eyes were vibrant as ever but now they shone out from heavy dark circles. Remus caught his breath, he was still beautiful. The smile that had lit Harry’s face slid off like butter in a frying pan. His eyes darted back to Miguel, the vampire stood behind him. 

After a moment so fraught with tension Remus could have cut it with a knife, the vampire took Harry’s arm and led him to a chair. A flick of his wand and Miguel was offering Harry a cup of tea which Harry took and sipped gratefully. The silence was almost unbearable to Remus but neither  
Harry nor Miguel seemed to notice as the vampire piled a small plate with fruit and veggies before handing it over to Harry. 

“Harry,” Remus started, his voice was and he paused to clear it. Harry turned his green eyes on him, they were clear but Harry’s expression was strangely blank. 

“Remus, I’m surprised to see you here.” Harry spoke softly but he didn’t seem angry which Remus supposed was step in the right direction. 

“I wanted to talk to you, about-well about all the things I said. I seemed to have handled things rather poorly.” Remus was hesitant but Harry simply nodded. 

“Alright. If you feel like you need to say something of course I will listen.” Harry turned him and Remus took a deep breath as he went over what he needed to say in his mind. Unfortunately the coppery scent of Harry’s blood was still overwhelming and he hesitated. Remus eyes sought the vampire and saw he was watching them both with rapt attention. 

“Err I’m sorry Harry but I suspect you’re bleeding.” Remus told the younger man hesitantly. Harry looked surprised but before he could respond Miguel hurried over.

“Forgive me, I must have been distracted.” He said to Harry as he withdrew his wand and tapped against Harry’s shoulder before bending down and licking the area clean of excess blood. Remus had to grind his teeth and squeeze his fists to keep from showing his outrage at this action. Harry meanwhile flushed an embarrassed pink before reaching up to run a finger over the healed bite. 

“You left a scar?” He asked Miguel curiously but the vampire just smirked before moving toward the floo.

“I’m afraid I’ll have to leave you two alone to chat, I have work to attend.” Harry opened his mouth as if to protest but Miguel was already stepping into the green flame and being whisked away. After Healer Zia’s departure there were several moments of tense silence before Harry spoke again. “You said you had something to say?” 

Remus nodded at the prompt and quickly attempted to gather his thoughts together. 

“I wanted to apologize to you, the things I said to you-” 

“Remus you don’t owe me anything. You were only being honest.” Harry assured him, even as he lowered his eyes at the mere memory of that day. 

“No Harry, I do need to apologize. I wasn’t being honest.” Harry frowned at him.

“I don’t understand” 

“Harry I-” Remus cut himself off taking a deep breath and settling his gaze on his increasingly agitated mate. “I realized you were my mate the day after your seventeenth birthday. Albus had picked you up late in the evening and it was like seeing you for the first time. It was all I could do to keep myself from bending you over the table and claiming you right there. I was horrified.” 

Remus paused for a moment to glance at his mate before realizing he was making the same mistake as before. 

“Not because you aren’t desirable. And certainly not because I don’t like you. The truth is I’ve always been very impressed by you. Even as a child you had such determination. That is what horrified me Harry, I went from viewing you. Well not as a son but certainly as a child I cared for. A child I wanted to mentor, I could never hope to substitute your father or Sirius but I had wanted to be a figure in your life. From looking at you like that to suddenly wanting to tear your clothes off and fuck you against the table.”

Harry made a small noise, almost a whimper and when Remus looked over he saw his face flushed and his lips slightly open. Only a slight intake of his own breath allowed Remus to catch the scent of Harry’s lust on the air. He looked away not wanting to allow himself to be distracted from his explanation. 

“It was too much. I couldn’t trust myself not to move to fast or take advantage of the trust I knew you had in me. So instead I contacted Albus, I explained everything to him and he agreed I should be reassigned. Despite being legally an adult you were still quite young and in the middle of a war and I didn’t want to add to your burden.

In America it was easy to distance myself from you. I threw myself into work on the farm but you were never far from my mind. I read every newspaper article that mentioned you, Albus often sent me letters about your activities. You’ve become such an amazing young man. I knew I had nothing to offer you. 

You could have anyone, I couldn’t and honestly still cannot imagine you settling for a beaten down werewolf old enough to be your father.” Harry made a noise and Remus suspected he wanted to protest but Remus waved him off as he continued. 

“I resolved never to return. I was happy enough in America and while I still yearned for you I convinced myself I was doing the best thing for you. I was terrified of your rejection. I wasn’t sure I could bear it. But Albus being Albus would not leave me be about Hogwarts. He owled me every year until finally contacting the Alpha of my pack. 

Once I was there it was all I could do to even be in the same room with you. I should have told you then, I know that but I was still so certain. Certain you could never return my feelings, that you would be disgusted by my lust for you. When I finally told you the truth it was only because I was horrified that my avoidance might be making you blame yourself for Sirius death. 

I buggered it all up of course. Instead of telling you how amazing I thought you were, how beautiful. I voiced what I thought your feelings much be, I couldn’t bear to even look at you for fear of seeing your disgust directed at me. I didn’t even think of how my words must sound to you, didn’t realize it until the pack alpha in America forced me to watch it again in his pensieve. That’s why I came here Harry, to tell you how sorry I am. To tell you that the idea of being mated to you doesn’t disgust me, it fills me with a longing so overwhelming I could drown in it.” Remus broke off for a moment and stole a look at Harry’s face he was wide eyed. His lips slightly parted and one hand raised as if to reach out. 

“Remus I-” He started but Remus cut him off again. 

“I told you before I wouldn’t ask anything of you and it’s still the truth. After what I have done to you, I will understand if you have no interest in knowing me better but I should tell you I’ve agreed to return to Hogwarts this year. I’d like to get to know you, get to know the man you’ve become. I feel I owe you that at least.”

Harry was silent for a long moment after Remus finished speaking. Remus considered simply leaving the young man to his thoughts but wasn’t sure how it would be received. He did so long to hear Harry’s voice at least once more before he left. Finally Harry spoke, his voice soft.

“I had. . .A difficult time after leaving last year. I realize it wasn’t your intent but being told that even your destined mate doesn’t want you is kind of a blow. I don’t know-” Harry hesitated before bowing his head and running his hands through his hair. “ I don’t know how I feel. I don’t like that I fell apart, if it weren’t for Miguel I don’t know what would have happened to me. I can’t make any promises Remus but I would like to get to know you. As equals perhaps we could spend some time together once we return in September.”

Despite his low expectations Remus heart still hurt at the hesitance in Harry’s voice but he chose to count this as a win. Once they were at Hogwarts Miguel would be out of the picture and Remus could at least try to prove himself to Harry. As he should have done from the beginning. 

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Harry was still sitting in his armchair when Miguel flooed back into the flat. He had a glass of whiskey in his hand and had spent the last hour alternately sipping it and spinning it to watch the light reflect off the surface. Harry had noticed that if the light reflected just right, whiskey was almost the same color as Remus’s eyes. Harry only spared his lover a passing glance before looking back at the glass.

“You’re still here.” Miguel observed quietly before settling into the chair across from Harry. Harry looked up at him. 

“Why didn’t you tell me Remus was coming?” Harry asked, he’d meant to sound angry but having spent so much time lost to introspection his voice had lost it’s heat. 

“Because I wanted to fuck you one last time, before you went away with him.” Miguel replied and Harry couldn’t help the smile that pulled on his lips. Miguel was an unapologetic hedonist of the first order, or so the vampire had told Harry the first time they met. 

“He told me he’ll be returning to Hogwarts, that he doesn’t expect a relationship but wants to get to know me.” Harry volunteered, his eyes returning to his glass. Miguel said nothing and after several minutes of silence Harry looked up at him in annoyance. “Well aren’t you going to say anything?” 

“Ah, mi corazón what would you have me say?”

“Something! Tell me what to do, convince me to stay with you, remind me how cruel Remus was just please say something.” Harry pleaded staring into Miguel’s endless dark eyes. 

“You know what you are going to do.” Miguel replied “Just as I have known it from the day you told me of your mate. I always knew he would come for you. I did not survive three centuries by thinking I could outwit fate.” 

“I love you.” Harry’s voice was soft, plaintive as if begging Miguel not to let him walk away. Miguel gave him a sad smile. 

“But not as you love the wolf. I know, no se puede ocultar de mí amada (You cannot hide from me beloved.) It is well, I will treasure each memory and be your friend as long as you live, even after if you choose to remain.”

“I still have a month before going back to Hogwarts. I’d still like to spend it with you, whatever happens with Remus will happen but not today.” 

“No, not today.” Miguel agreed with a sly smile before pulling Harry into a passionate kis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You asked and I heard your plea! Behold a new chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked this first chapter! Leave a comment! :-)


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